It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Are we still banned from the library?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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