Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
