capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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