This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
