He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
