I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
