you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
