New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
