oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
