Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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