I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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