They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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