Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize