Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
