fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
so much tequila, so little girl.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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