Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
