Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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