Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
