I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
