Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
