we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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