I think scott just propositioned me for sex
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
