You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
