yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
