You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
