Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
