We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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