why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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