just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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