If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
