you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
