Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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