New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
