He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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