Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
