I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
did you just send me my own nude
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
