Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
