Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
