So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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