I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
