What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
