The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
