Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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