No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
