are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
