break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
