Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
this just has baby written all over it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
