And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
