i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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