Only a mothe r could love this liver
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
